he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize