her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize