Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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