Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
