Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
