you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
