that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
