Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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