Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
