Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
This house was built for laser tag.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
