Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize