My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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