So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
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