Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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