You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
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Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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