Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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