He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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