ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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