dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
