no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
