I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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