She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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