Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i drank out of a bidet.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize