I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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