Nicole vs. Life
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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