This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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