the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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