Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
