Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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