Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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