Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
my liver is dry heaving
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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