Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
