I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
