My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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