Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
