I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize