Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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