I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
