is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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