YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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