I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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