So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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