she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
