Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize