Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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