HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
a search helicopter?!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
