forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
