Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
