I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
