I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Where is the hickey?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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