the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
