Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
