Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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