So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
