God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
