Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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