I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
