you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Come see our sink grown plant.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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