all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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