I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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