We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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