I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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